Thursday, April 24, 2014

How Does Your Garden Grow?

A funny story about me: When I was in middle school, 7th or 8th grade, I decided one day to plant a garden.  When I came home from school, I went to the garage and got a shovel and a hoe and got to work.  When my great grandmother came home from work (I mostly lived with her by then) I showed her the big area of her backyard I dug up.  I said, "I'm planting a garden.  I need seeds."  Being the awesome grandma she was and loving me as she did, she did not yell or get mad (as far as I knew) and after dinner we went to Home Depot and got seeds.  I am not sure why, but everything we planted did well and flourished.

I am not sure (I cannot recall) why I only did the garden one year.  But I remember it well.  The beans and the lettuce and the carrots.  I was convinced I was a gardener and blessed with a green thumb.  Years later I got my first home and wanted to plant a garden, but it was not a good sized yard (quite pathetic, actually).  I held off on starting another master garden.  When we lost that house and began renting the house we are still in, I decided to grow a garden.

With confidence lingering from my one and only garden roughly 20 years in my past, I set out to grow enough food to save us a ton on groceries.  I read up on methods and all the how-to's.  The soil in this yard was terrible and I got no where after an hour's hard effort to break the soil up.  I went with a raised bed method.  Over a $100 later, I had two kiddie pools with sand on the bottom, drain holes, expensive soil and seed packets with potential to feed a small nation.  It was a disaster.  I failed miserably.  My green thumb ego took a huge blow.  Only the gazillion bugs who found my garden, ever got a taste of my labor.  Angry and feeling stupid (I really talked up my gardening skills to my skeptical husband) only to waste the little money we did have after losing our home.

I decided recently to try again.  This time I am humble (even prayed before putting a single plant or seed in the ground).  And as I have been working this new garden, and sharing my funny impulse garden from my youth, I have begun to think a lot about how that garden grew so well.

Was it superior soil?  -Maybe I had pH balance off in my last attempt, but when I was a kid, all I used what was in the ground there.
Was it a better climate? -Maybe, though the weather here and there are not that different.
Was it superior seeds? -I think I can say, "no." ;-)

One thought that keeps swirling around is that I bet my grandma did a whole lot more than I even knew about.  All the time I thought it was ME, it was probably her.  It has me thinking a lot about myself as a parent and about myself as the child (and God as my Father).  How much do my kids think they are "all that and a slice of pie!" and how much do I?  How does your garden grow?

Click here to see an update post on my garden!

Monday, April 14, 2014

Why go Vegan? Why a Plant Based Diet? Part I

There are many reasons for going on a plant based diet or becoming a vegan.  I am writing this post to organize my thoughts and to share with others what I have learned and how I see it playing out in both my life and the life of those around me.  I know some family and friends will, with great care, be concerned about my choices and I want to show them I appreciate their concern and am thoroughly looking at both my options and my reasons for a plant based diet.  I am going to have to break this up into several posts.  Organizing the posts by the following areas of reasons for choosing a plant based diet and for avoiding animal products seems most logical to follow and for me to compose:
  • animal cruelty
  • human rights violations (including physical dangers and issues like indentured servitude) 
  • dangers to the consumers
  • negative environmental impact
  • jeopardized health of meat and dairy consumers
 *Because these areas are interrelated, I will not be fully separating them as I write these posts, but I will do my best to make it easy to follow and easy to find an specific argument you are interested in or would like to challenge.  ;-)  I will make the above bullets hyperlinks as I publish each post.  This post will focus mostly on the first bullet: Animal Cruelty and why I care about it.  Let me quickly say that I have a lot of links in this post to see images or learn more about this issue.  No image I link to is graphic or terrifying to look at.  There are plenty of images and videos that are gut-wrenching and you can easily find those on your own.  I will advise, though, that the links I share may have videos or images in areas away from where the links will first take you, also some are links to homepages and such, the first images and articles, etc. are ever changing -view discretion is advised.

Before I go into that, I told Alex last night that it's like I've been on a plank on top of a ball struggling to keep my balance, kind of like this image.  I have been been going shakily from one end of the board to the other (one end being "Go Vegan because it's not right how animals are treated" and the other being, "Go Plant Based for my health").  I was telling him that I think I have finally come to a peaceful place and can steady myself.  Whether for health, or for animal treatment or the many other compelling reasons, I know that the less animal products the better! Now it's just time to wrap up my research and transition to a non-animal based diet.  I will be blogging about our journey from the standard American diet to a plant based one (it should be entertaining as my family loves animal products).

Some background:
I used to be a vegetarian, mainly because I wasn't a huge meat fan and I had seen enough PETA pictures to ruin the taste for the meat dishes I did like.  I gave up red meat (the meat I didn't like) in the 8th grade (a bazillion years ago, to be exact) and at 15 or so I gave up ALL meat.  But I had enough dairy to keep 12 milk cows busy 24/7!  I have never liked milk in a glass, but put chocolate in it and I'd down it in a heart beat.  Yogurt, cottage cheese, cream cheese and anything cheese was what I ate!!!  I quickly became a fat and unhealthy vegetarian.  I gave up my no-meat life style my freshman year of college when I was tired of bruising all the time and figured lean meat like chicken and turkey would help me lose weight. 

Veganism?!! that was just taking things too far!  Back when I first heard about VEGANS I thought of them as freaks.  I never thought I'd even consider being one, especially when I added white meat back to my daily plate.  Yet, over the years I have given it a lot of thought.  For a while I decided to sorta eat like a vegan (in the whole no dairy, lots of veggies way) -I ate lean cuts of chicken, but otherwise ate vegan.  I did it to lose weight and it worked great!  I often ate brown rice with lemon pepper and oven baked chicken breasts and steamed veggies.

So why the change? Why am I going from post vegetarian to vegan?

I never stopped caring about how animals were treated, but I didn't know how to reconcile my poultry and dairy consumption with what I knew about the cruelty of the meat industry.  But I felt like I had to have a reason for why I could eat some animals and not others.  I actually "reasoned" that eating turkey was okay because they were stupid animals that would look up to the sky during rain and drown themselves.  I concluded that if beheaded chickens could run around, they were okay to eat, too.  I guess I needed to have a reason why eating beef was "wrong" but poultry was "okay."  Truth is, I believed that beef was the unhealthy meat and poultry was healthy.

Most importantly, I preferred the taste of poultry and could not stomach the idea of eating a steak. -not much more can be honestly said about my "no red meat" stance.  I also worked hard to avoid the fact that I was eating the remains of a once living creature when I ate turkey burgers and chicken hot dogs.  To prepare a turkey or de-bone a chicken for meals, I literally had to mentally gear-up to not gag.   When I was about five years old, I was eating one of my favorite foods, fried chicken, when I found a vein.  I remember thinking it was a worm and asking my mother what it was.  She quickly explained it was a vein and flipped my hand over to be palm up.  She pointed out my veins at my wrist and explained the purpose of a vein.  I gagged, threw up and refused to eat chicken ever again.  I didn't eat chicken, willingly, for years and years later.

Though I am clearly guilty myself, I don't understand why we feel it is acceptable to eat one animal and not another.  Why is it "acceptable" to treat livestock one way, but not a dog or cat?  I don't get why a pig is for eating and a cat for cuddling.  Sure, there are differences in size, but all the people who have had a pot belly pig for a pet will tell you they are amazing pets.  Pigs are highly intelligent and social animals [1].  One person may see bacon when they see their rounded sides, but I see an animal and I see a lot more than ham and pork chops.  Why is it disgusting to think of eating dogs, but not chickens?  Horses are beautiful animals and I know many who have a pet horse and adore them, would do anything for them -yet in some countries like France, horse meat is a delicacy. When I pose these questions, I do so not to elicit a response, but to stir your thoughts (much like mine have been stirring for a while now).  I honestly have respect for someone who can raise an animal and slaughter it them self.  They have cared for the animal and have looked it in the eyes.  They are not in the "la-la land of disconnect" that I and so many of us are in.  I know for a fact that I just could not eat an animal that I raised (except to save my life, I should not say "never").

For the record: I do not believe animals are equal to people, not at all.  I do not believe that animal rights are more important than human rights.  I will choose the life of a person over an animal and I will choose human rights over animal rights any day.  But, I know, now, that they are not that far apart from each other.  Many human rights are violated because of the meat industry.  And I have more recently become aware of how much the meat industry is destroying our planet.  I also know that kindness shown to animals fosters compassion and care for people, more on this later.

I am a Christian and believe that God has given us permission to eat animals and to use them as needed for labor and companionship.  I do not believe we have to eat them or that our bodies are meant to eat them, but that we are allowed to eat them.   That said, I do not want any friend of mine or anyone reading this, to think I am passing judgement on them if they choose to eat steak every day! I am, however, writing this to share why I am choosing a different path.  And to shed light on why maybe you should, too. 

Going back to animal treatment, I want to highlight that animals raised for meat by industrial "farmers" do nothing for the animals they raise beyond what is required by law (and the law has low standards, is violated regularly and is corrupted by lobbyist and a lack of "checks and balances").  Conversely, they do plenty harm to the animals to increase profits. 

For every chicken breast you buy, 
every slab of bacon you fry 
and every bite of a burger and fry 
(I like to rhyme, I cannot deny ;-) 
you are: 
  • having a commodity that taxes and depletes our planet of precious resources; 
  • endangers lives; 
  • employs illegal immigrants who work like slaves[2];  
  • and directly puts your life at risk.   

No, I'm not being overly dramatic or exaggerating the facts.  I wish I was!  I wish I had a weak argument for going vegan.  The more I learn, the more I wish I just didn't know. Yet I am glad that I do know.  I prefer to be educated and to be equipped to make positive changes for my family and yours and for our world, in general.

So, as a Christian, why do I care beyond how people are treated? 
If God says we can eat animals, why should I try to prevent their consumption?  Or even limit it?  To briefly answer: God has told us to be good stewards with what we have been given.  I can see nothing God-honoring in the way the meat industry of today operates.  From animal abuse to hormone and antibiotic use, to indentured servitude (ask any small farmer that decided to sign on with Tyson or Perdue to raise chickens) to things like mad-cow disease and E. coli, the writing is on the wall!  This is not at all how God intended things.  Sure, nothing outside the Garden of Eden is how God intended, but this is no excuse for us to turn a blind eye to these facts so we can enjoy a cheese burger off the grill this summer.

I am not sure what you think of when you read the following names: Farmer John; Harris Ranch; Foster Farms -but I know they conjure up images of green pastures, a red barn, white puffy clouds with big blue sky.  I see animals and a farmer in a straw hat, maybe chewing a blade of tall grass; a place I'd want to grow up, or at least visit.  Take a look at this image.  Look at this picture too.

Note: I am working on transitioning to a vegan/plant based diet.  I am not yet a vegan.  I had cheese and turkey on a croissant sandwich at a potluck three days ago.  But after I learned the truth of the egg industry, how chicks are treated and what "cage free" truly meant, I stopped at least wasting money on the cartons that said, "cage free."  I really like eggs.  Quiche anyone? Egg salad sandwiches? Omelets? FRENCH TOAST!!!!!  mmmmmmmmm.... I really like eggs.  But seeing what they do to the male chicks, and even the female chicks (did you know they have their beaks trimmed or seared off so they can be kept for their life in confinement the size of an 8.5"x 11" sheet of paper?).   Here's a good site to shed more light on why eggs won't be on my table anymore

If you are anything like me you may be asking "but what about humanely raised animals and humane slaughter?"  I've looked into it and for the most part, humane is not really an option, and I am not just talking about financially.  Certainly, there are much better sources for animal derived goods, but beyond the rare small family farm, you will not find humanely raised animals.  And of these rare farms, many would not qualify for the description of "humane slaughter."  Beyond the fact that it's pretty much an oxymoron, the problem with humane killing methods is the that the objective of the animal's death is not to stop its beating heart, but to make money off the animal's body.  Sometimes even places that pride themselves on humane treatment of animals from birth to death have problems putting animals down in ways that can be called humane (e.g. sometimes a cow's skull is too thick to be rendered unconscious by stunt guns and after painful blows to the head they have to be shot, sometimes a few times).  I found this article on Modern Farmer to be a great look at humane slaughter, and information in general about higher standards for animal care and slaughter -it is written by Mac McClelland, a meat eater who cares about animal welfare. 

I already touched on eggs and how it's nearly impossible to find humane egg sources, but what about dairy?  When I was a vegetarian, I used to think that I was free from cruelty causing foods.  Cows make milk, we drink it, make yummy cheese with it, churn the cream and make butter with it, it's natural and simple, right?  Cows naturally lactate and I've always heard that they hurt if you don't milk them, so milking cows is kind, right?  Now, I know that is not true.  What does the life of an average dairy cow look like?  This excerpt paints the sad picture: A cow’s natural lifespan is about 25 years, but cows used by the dairy industry are killed after only four or five years. An industry study reports that by the time they are killed, nearly 40 percent of dairy cows are lame because of the intensive confinement, the filth, and the strain of being almost constantly pregnant and giving milk. Dairy cows’ bodies are turned into soup, companion animal food, or low-grade hamburger meat because their bodies are too “spent” to be used for anything else.  To learn more.  

Depressing, huh?  I find it to be quite depressing on many levels.  Mostly because I think it's really sad that such cruelty exists and that so few even care to make a difference.  Though I find other cruelty issues much much more heartbreaking and disturbing (human trafficking, for instance) I do not believe that it means I (or anyone) should turn a blind eye to these issues.  I would never want to live in a world that valued animals more than people, but I believe that if we cared about animals and valued all life, we would be a society that fostered compassion for the least of the least of these.

I could go on all day and night with what I have come to learn about how the average piece of meat gets to our tables.  And the issues surrounding, animal cruelty, are many and greatly heartbreaking.  I know that it is not easy to think about how many animals had a horrible existence and traumatic death just to be in your stomach.  But I urge anyone reading this to think about it.  Not just to make their stomach turn and leave them feeling bad.  I urge people to think about it so they can begin today to make changes.  I honestly doubt I will get anyone to become an over night vegan with my post here, but please remember that animal cruelty (and all its implications) are not the only reason to consider eliminating animal products from your diet.  For many of you, the upcoming posts will be much more compelling.  The following foot note will be a good lead in to the next post about human rights violations in the meat industry.

[1] A former kill floor manager gave the following account: The worst thing, worse than the physical danger, is the emotional toll. . . . Pigs down on the kill floor have come up and nuzzled me like a puppy. Two minutes later I had to kill them-beat them to death with a pipe. I can’t care." Read more: http://www.foodispower.org/slaughterhouse-workers/


Helpful sites to learn more and make a difference (even if you don't want to go vegan):
http://www.psr.org/chapters/oregon/safe-food/industrial-meat-system.html

If you are a vegetarian and think you are doing enough for the welfare of animals: http://measureofdoubt.com/2011/06/22/why-a-vegetarian-might-kill-more-animals-than-an-omnivore/


Monday, April 7, 2014

Hyperemesis Gravidarum HG

So far I have briefly mentioned the fact that I have terrible pregnancies.  I get a pregnancy disease called, Hyperemesis Gravidarum or HG for short.  Little is know about HG, but about 2% of pregnant women have the misfortune of getting it.  There is a wide range of severity, but even at it's "least" it is awful.  Some very unfortunate souls get it so bad, it is a miracle they live.  Many have died.  Some call it "extreme morning sickness" -that gross understatement makes me sick.  HG is not morning sickness.  First off, you aren't just sick at one time a day!  But calling it bad or extreme morning sickness is like calling an amputated arm "an extreme paper cut." 

My last pregnancy was my worst case of HG and I will summarize the nightmare it was in these brief bullets (not all of these issues lasted throughout the entire pregnancy, but I was ill throughout the entire pregnancy):
  • Was ill to the point of almost throwing up before I even took a pregnancy test
  • Was throwing up at only a week and a few days post conception
  • Able to detect offensive smells miles away
  • Vomiting episodes that last for more than an hour
  • Nausea that never ever let up
  • Waking from dead sleep to vomit
  • Not being able to keep any food or liquids down
  • Throwing up foamy yellow stuff (bile) and beginning to black out from the lack of oxygen (hard to breathe when you are vomiting non stop out your mouth and nose)
  • Getting so many IVs you lose track
  • Getting so many IVs your veins begin to collapse
  • Getting on a PICC line
  • Getting TPN *because at 28 weeks along I was 20 lbs under my starting weight and losing about 2 lbs a week. 
  • Weak beyond words
  • Unable to watch TV or listen to music because it triggered vomiting episodes
  • Changes in temperature increased nausea and vomiting
HG was awful to endure and I would only wish it on all the non compassionate doctors I saw throughout the pregnancy.  I even had one accuse me of just wanting to harm my baby and suggested mental health services.  I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD about 6 months after Rockwell was born.  I had it with my first pregnancy and maybe with my second, but neither time was even an 1/8th the horror the last pregnancy was. 

So throughout this blog I will mention HG and PTSD.  I hope that I don't mention either that much (not pleasant topics!) but I will, they are two parts of my life story and this blog is about my life, our family's life and I don't believe in avoiding reality (it only makes matters worse).

Here are a few photos from my pregnancy highlighting HG.  I felt awful, even if I was smiling in a photo.  I was on a never ending rocky boat ride and I only made it through because I was determined to not let the HG win.  
This is an image of my PICC line.  I don't think I got any that showed the insertion point, but this is part of the whole system.  I had a double lumen one (two lines -you can see there was blood in one of them).

I took a picture of one of the many hospital summaries that came in.  It's mind boggling to me why doctors don't do more to help women with HG, so they don't have to be in the hospital.  One would think the insurance companies would encourage better "up front" care to avoid such bills. 

A pregnancy shot with my girls.  The white band on my arms is where I hid my PICC line cords when they were not hooked up to an IV bag or later on, TPN.

one of the ugly post IV bruises

some of the supplies for a PICC line.

An image of a post-blown vein bruising

This is a terrible-quality image, but it shows the ugly PICC line and if you look at the blue ring in the center is the insertion point.
TPN - a complete form of nutrition and may include a combination of sugar and carbohydrates (for energy), proteins (for muscle strength), lipids (fat), electrolytes and trace elements.  I infused a bag like this every day over 20 hours (I injected extra vitamins and such and mixed it up before beginning the infusion).


See me? I'm the one in the pink top.  This was me at my baby shower.  I had to wear my ugly back pack that held the batter and pump to infuse the TPN (see above image).  Since it had to run 20 hours a day, I had to go everywhere with it.  See my white cord? That's the TPN coming from the bag and going to my PICC.

Opening gifts (my girls watching) I'm sharing this image to show the TPN in the line feeding to the PICC.  As you can imagine, lots of people questioned me on "what is that thing?" but most just stared with a gross-out look.


Rockwell

This post is about my youngest child, and only son, Rockwell.




Rockwell is not even two years old yet and there is already lots to tell you about him.  I guess I should start with his name.  I am often asked, "how'd you come up with that name?"

Since this post is about Rockwell, and not me I won't dwell on my pregnancy with him, but it is an integral part in naming him.  To be brief and understated I will say I had a horrible pregnancy with him.  The name Rockwell came up one night when I jokingly suggested the name "Norman" because my husband and I were watching the show, American Pickers, and the kindest old man, "Norm" was on it and I loved the old guy instantly.  He was the kind of man I would want my son to turn out to be like.  I didn't know if I had a baby boy or girl growing in me yet, but I said, "How about Norman?"

My husband instantly rejected it protesting with reference to the show, "Cheers" and how the regular drunk was greeted as he entered the bar, "NORM!" glasses raised and all.  I could not shake the sweet old man and when I'd say, "Norman" it was followed by "Rockwell."  Kind of like "Bacon and eggs." 



Alex actually liked my suggestion, "So I cannot help but think 'Rockwell' when I say 'Norman.'  What do you think of 'Rockwell?' Crazy name huh? I actually like it.  If it's a boy, let's name him 'Rockwell!.'"  He immediately looked up the popularity of the name on the social security website and found there was no entry on the name, implying it is extremely rare.  This appealed to him, maybe because our first two children have such popular names. 

Weeks went by and we both went from thinking the name would be "cool" to really liking it.  "Xavier" had always been the name we liked for a boy, but once we found out we were having a boy, it made us wonder if "Xavier" was the right name for our baby boy. 

Okay, so you know how I mentioned my pregnancy? Well, I had a horrible one.  I could have died a few times and would have surely lost Rockwell had we not modern medicine and technology.  I leaned on Jesus so much to get me through the nightmare of an existence I had.  I begged God for mercy and protection for my baby growing despite the condition of my body.  One night I thought I was for sure going into premature labor and was going to lose him.  I was only about 20 weeks along and I remember lying in bed thinking, "He has to have a name.  He cannot die without a name.  His name is Rockwell."  Some how, through the pain and fear I drifted to sleep.  I had a powerful dream.  The dream was me telling someone of a dream (sounds like the movie, Inception).  I told the person that God came to me at the well and told me the baby's name was "Rockwell" because in my pregnancy with him I have come to know Jesus truly is my ROCK and that though I thirst in my flesh [during my pregnancy I could not drink without excessive vomiting] I would never thirst in my spirit.  I was like the woman at the WELL in the Bible.  God came to me and gave me the good news, I was forever filled with the the joy of the lord." 

Jesus saw us through 37 weeks of that pregnancy and I gave birth to my sweet baby boy by induction at 37 weeks and one day.  Starved, in poor health (including the beginning of liver failure) and fatigue I saw my sweet Rockwell for the first time and praised God for surviving!!!







Rockwell was instantly adored by both his big sister.  The following image was taken the day he came home from the hospital.



 Rockwell loves to smile:




Rockwell also loves the bath ("bah" aka "bath" was one of his very first words):


 Rockwell loves to climb (too bad he is too young for rock climbing classes).  He actually learned how to climb the ladder to his sister's bunk bed months before he could walk.  The first week he walked he was dancing on the dining room table, turning circles and marching all over it.  He keeps it interesting for me.


Rockwell is a joy and I cannot wait to see who becomes!!!

Just a few more photos:














Sunday, April 6, 2014

Grace

Today I would like to introduce you to my daughter, Grace.




We call her Gracie, 96% of the time.  I thought of naming her Gracie, but went with Grace because she can always go by Gracie if she want, but Grace is just classic! and looks good on resumes and such.  I often call her, "Gracie-Girl" and her uncle John called her "Cracie" and it fits and it stuck.  I call her that sometimes too.  Just don't call her "wiggle worm" -she really doesn't like that one.  She is self conscious about the fact that she is wiggly and squirmy and I know it breaks her heart that it often leads to people becoming annoyed by her sitting next to them.

The following images were taken seconds apart:




Gracie is so full of energy, life, laughter and spunk -it's hard not to just want to drink her up!  She was such a cutie pie baby with her bald head (such a stark contrast from her big sister's full head of hair at birth).  Here are a few pictures of her from her infant days.




Gracie is not only adorable...she is a mischievous lil stinker too!  Look at these photos, for just a sampling of her impulsive "what if I..." nature. :-)

Gracie has a big heart. She is so sweet to me, always offering back rubs, hugs and laughs. She looks up to her big sister, Katelyn.  They may fight like cats and dogs, but she loves Katelyn with all her heart.

She loves being a big sister to her baby brother, Rockwell.  Even if he's feeling smothered by her, she is standing by ready to give one more hug, one more kiss or one more tickle.  She tells me all the time she is going to marry him because they "love eachothers."



I'm in love with the way light reflects in Gracie's eyes.  Here are some pictures that show her eyes over the past 5 years.







Grace loves Minnie Mouse,


messing her hair up
posing for the camera 

getting messy & making great faces :-)



and singing (she is going to be taking lessons soon).  She is also really into her rock climbing class and seems to have little fear of heights!